Evaluating A Potential Spouse
What your love interest is pursuing now, is probably what they will be pursuing after you are married. They may take a break to court you, but after marriage, they will resume their true priorities.
Since I am a guy, let me give an example. We men are often preoccupied with providing by money. Men are often focused on making a living because the world tells us that it is our “purpose” in life, and the measure of our value.
This is unfortunate because it sets men up to completely miss a strong relationship with the Lord and our primary “work” for the kingdom of God. Many Christian men will attest to Jesus being the Lord of their lives, but when you look at the way they spend their time it seems to say otherwise.
Ladies, if a man isn’t seeking the Lord before you meet him. He probably won’t magically start after you marry him. It’s difficult to overcome years of training and focus.
Providing and working hard are not wrong if done A) for the right reasons and B) in the right way. However, the vast majority of American men working at regular jobs fail both A and B (Myself included).
We should always be diligent workers (about our father’s business like Jesus was), but not always for money. Like Paul, we should work just enough to provide what is needed so we can get back to the real work at hand - the great commission.
You want to marry a man who makes money fit in around God’s leading to serve. Not a man who has made serving God fit in around his money-making work.
“Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that does the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. Therefore whosoever hears these sayings of mine, and does them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: - Matthew 7:21-24
I’ve seen many young people wasting their time on things that ultimately are self-centered, rather than God-centered. Added God as a co-pilot to your life is a big warning sign something is not right in our relationship to God.
Scripture says that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45), that whatever is not done in faith towards God is sin (Romans 14:23), and that faith that does not produce action is dead (James 2:20).
What does this person you are interested in:
- Talk about most?
- Spend the most time pursuing?
- Who do they look like?
- Who do they think like? (Normal unsaved people or Christ?)
- Do they love and take care of people who can offer them nothing, or only love people like you, who benefit them? Loving God and others is the first and greatest commandment.
Ask yourself these questions. If someone you are interested in isn’t seeking God first, understand your own risk of loving God less should you marry them. Marriage is a joining of two people.
And don’t forget to examine yourself. Do you pass the test?