How do you know if you should marry them?
The answer is the same for everything in life: God told me to.
In the West, the vast majority of relationships involve the physical first. Physical always has to be last step, if the physical drives your love/marriage then you are in trouble. The only thing you should be pointing at is God driving your marriage.
The only primary reason we should do anything is because God told us to. Without faith (and true faith has works) nothing we do will be pleasing to the Lord. (Hebrews 11:6) and since we no longer walk after the flesh we are now to be walking after the Spirit.
Walking after the Spirit means following God’s Spirit. This is the example Christ gave us. Jesus never said or did anything but what God told him to do and what He saw God doing.
Think about that for a minute.
How do I know if I heard God? / How do I hear God?
If you’re asking this then you need to put your romance on hold, maybe quit your job, and put anything else separating you from God out of the way. Nothing is more important that your relationship with God. How can we say we have a “personal relationship” with God if we never hear from him?
Do you think God: - created you (Genesis 1:27, Psalm 139:13) - died for you (Romans 5:8, 2 Corinthians 5:15) - adopted you into his family (Ephesians 1:5, Ephesians 3:15) - gave you his own Spirit (the Holy Spirit) (Romans 8:15, Galatians 4:6) - has given you every blessing in heaven (Ephesians 1:3) - promises to provide everything you need (Luke 12:7) - ever lives to make intercession for you (Hebrews 7:25) - sees everything you do (Hebrews 4:13) - always hears your cries (Psalm 34:17) - made you a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17) - told you to follow him (Mark 8:34, Luke 9:59, 1 Corinthians 11:1) - has planned out your life (Jeremiah 29:11, Hebrews 13:20, Proverbs 3:5) - …but doesn’t want to talk with you?
Prayer isn’t us talking at God. Prayer is mostly us coming before the Lord and praising, thanking, and petitioning him as he leads our thoughts and shows us His will and plan.
You probably have local ministries that focus on learning how to walk with God and hear him. The only global ministry I know that has a focus in this area is YWAM which I would encourage you to attend if you want more training in this area.
Jesus is our example
As we already talked about, Jesus is our example in everything. We are instructed to deny ourselves, take up the cross, and follow Him.
If Jesus looked to God for everything in life, and God wants us to copy him. Doing your own will, instead of following God, is a major theme in the Old Testament. Jesus did the will of the father.
Why wouldn’t God want us to turn to Him for direction marriage? What do we think a “personal relationship with God” means?