No Fear In Love
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear” - 1 John 4:18
Explicitly and completely trusting God removes the fear we have of missing something.
When I went to ask Brittany’s dad about pursuing her, he said there were other young men who had already asked him about starting a relationship with Brittany.
The fear that Satan had tempted me with before was right here - I had waited too long on God, and other men had already come. Nevertheless, I already had faith that since this wasn’t my plan—this was God’s plan—I could trust Him with Brittany, just as I had surrendered my own future to him.
James, Brittany’s dad, asked me how I knew I was hearing God lead me to pursue Brittany. After all, these other young men thought the same thing and we couldn’t all be right.
I can’t speak to what God was doing in those other guys. Perhaps they misunderstood His leading, perhaps they were just hoping it would work, or maybe they just hadn’t sought the Lord.
Nevertheless, I was able to confidently, and without fear tell James that I had complete peace about the situation. I knew I was supposed to marry his daughter.
I didn’t know what Brittany thought of me, but I knew God was working and if it was His will that I marry Brittany then nothing would stop that.
Please don’t take this as self-confidence in anything I possessed. This was just me stepping out of the boat onto water, trusting that if God called me, I would be able to walk.
After spending so long seeking God, there wasn’t a question in my mind. I knew that if I put my trust in God He would hold me and lead me as any loving Father holds their young child, too weak to walk on their own.
Though I did like Brittany, I didn’t know who she really was. I also didn’t know who she would be in 5 years. I say that because, though I was confident, it wasn’t a confidence in what I wanted or what I thought - just a confidence in what God was leading me to do.
Our heavenly Father is the only one that knows what our spouse will be like at each step of our marriage and walk with the Lord. He knows how our marriage will refine and challenge us. He knows the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10).
We have all seen friends or family grow up and change dramatically since they were children. Sometimes two people who we have known from childhood grow up and get married while we stand there scratching our head thinking we would never have imagined them as a couple. Likewise, you may have thought two people were a good match, but now they seem so different and divided in what they are each pursuing in life.
God knows the future and His plan for everyone. Thinking we can pick a spouse better (and more future-proof) than Him is silly.
Trusting God with our spouse also kept Brittany and me from starting a relationship earlier than we were actually ready. We may have been willing, but God knew we needed to grow more first. Looking back, we can clearly see the things He taught us and the rewards that came with waiting for His time.
People change, and marriage is a refining process that is supposed to change you both to be more conformed into the image of Christ. God is the only one that anticipates change (for the Christian it is growth) and already has it planned out.