In one form or another Christians often talk about “the one” you are supposed to marry. We have this idea of the perfect spouse eternally chosen from the beginning of time. You are responsible for finding them, and when you do, you can finally get married and live happily ever after. Basically, Disney-ology.
But there’s a problem with this. One of the falsehoods here is that we must seek this person out. God repeatedly warns us NOT to seek after the things the world seeks after. We are to seek Him first and everything else (include a spouse, if marriage is in His plans for us) will be provided. Don’t believe the lie that God is incapable or too busy to show you your spouse in His timing.
The most important thing to God is your relationship to Him. If you can’t seek him without a spouse, you’re unlikely to after you are married. If you are to marry, God does have a specific person for you to marry. He also created them and you knowing you would be married. God designed them to help you be conformed to the image of Christ, as they encourage, rebuke, and exhort you in your walk with Christ.
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God… - Romans 8:28
“All things” includes your spouse.
Everything you do should be an action of following God. There shouldn’t be any more time left in the day where you need to “figure out” what to do. We are servants of the Lord and He leads us.
“O LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps. - Jeremiah 10:23
“Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. -Matthew 6:31-33
Lastly, there should be many guys or girls that you get along with. God intended for believers to all compliment each other. As members of the body of Christ, we are supposed to be unified and of one mind, striving together for the truth of the gospel. All the different parts working together in beautiful harmony! But simply having unity, or working well with someone, doesn’t mean you should marry them. Walking in Love is how the Church is supposed to function. Unfortunately, it’s not as common as it should be and makes us prize it so much when we find it.
There is no person you must seek out, but there is a person God will provide. Believe in God’s “one” for you. Not Disney’s “one” for you.