Ladies: What to Look for in a Man
A man should provide for his household, be content and thankful with what God has him doing and not complain, be willing to lead by example, be generous with what he has been given, be consistent in his character and choices (even when no one is watching), be self-controlled and actively resist anger, lust, or any other fleshly desire, attend church, read the bible, and pray often.
Don’t seek a man only doing these things. They should be a given.
These traits barely scratch the surface of what I’ve come to understand a “Christ-ian” is. Not just an American, church-go’er, or religious person - but a real follower of Christ. I’ve seen these attributes of love lived out in such a beautiful way many times by those that really Love God and let His Spirit work through them.
Jesus said “For a good tree brings not forth corrupt fruit; neither does a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. For every tree is known by his own fruit.” - Luke 6:43
However, the problem is that often, we like Eve in the garden of Eden, choose the good looking-fruit even if that fruit brings death. Because of the problems with our own relationship with Christ, we fail to recognize the good (or bad) fruit in others’ lives - especially if we are looking for romance.
I’ve heard of multiple marriages fail where the young lady was instructed to look and gauge fruit by the world’s standards - or even her own.
“Oh, he has a good job, makes me laugh, loves kids, goes to church! This must be the one!”
However, Scripture tells us not to compare ourselves to other people (Corinthians 10:12) or to choose things based off our own (apart from Christ) understanding (Proverbs 3:5, Colossians 2:8). Life is not a sliding scale, but a race where we are to run as trying to win the prize (1 Corinthians 9:24). We are to compare ourselves, and others, to Christ alone.
To do so, we must know Christ ourselves. There is no alternative but death.
Yes, every choice that isn’t founded on Christ ultimately leads to death. Jesus said He alone was the way, the truth, and the life. God alone gives wisdom and will lead you correctly (Proverbs 2:6).
The only thing you should look for in a man is… nothing. Don’t look to men. Including yourself.
You should look to Christ. The transforming love of God at work bears much fruit and take the worse, murderous sinner (like Paul in 1 Timothy 1:15) and make them a world-changing, love-bearing, eternal saint.
“I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. - John 15:5 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. For by me thy days shall be multiplied, and the years of thy life shall be increased. - Proverbs 9:10-11
Please understand, there are often times we fail to look anything like Christ, but is when we lose our love for the Lord that we lose our connection to the very source of all good things (James 1:7). Don’t despair! It’s just a trick from the enemy to keep you from being reconciled to Christ. Repent right now and pray to the Lord to change your heart and fill you with His Spirit. “Even when we are faithless, he remains faithful for He cannot deny himself” - 2 Timothy 2:13. “For God is love.” - 1 John 4:8
Recognize the fruit of righteousness in others by knowing Christ yourself. Yet even then don’t look for a love interest based on your own ideas or plan. Wait on the Lord and He will direct your paths to someone that not only desires to know Christ, but was formed to walk in marriage with you.
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. - Proverbs 3:5-6
God. Never. Ever. Ever. Fails.