Pursuing a Relationship
The following scripture studies are designed for those who are interested in (or are) pursuing a relationship and/or marriage. Please read the articles about Trusting God and the Leading of the Holy Spirit first if you have not.
The answer is the same for everything in life: God told me to.
The bible puts relationships in three categories (well four if you count immorality):
Ephesians chapter 5 warns us about coveting something God has not given us. This is very important as it prevents us from pursuing other people in relationships God has not called us to.
Waiting to be in a relationship seems to be the hardest area of our lives in which to exercise patience. At lot of that probably comes from the God-less worldview we are surrounded with every day. Since the world rejects Christ, they reject His plan for their life, including who they are to marry.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear” - 1 John 4:18
Explicitly and completely trusting God removes the fear we have of missing something.
“Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. - 1 Corinthians 7:1
“Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. - Proverbs 18:22
What your love interest is pursuing now, is probably what they will be pursuing after you are married. They may take a break to court you, but after marriage, they will resume their true priorities.
The following are a collection of scriptures we personally have found important to the topic of marriage.
In one form or another Christians often talk about “the one” you are supposed to marry. We have this idea of the perfect spouse eternally chosen from the beginning of time. You are responsible for finding them, and when you do, you can finally get married and live happily ever after. Basically, Disney-ology.
I want to share with you the wonderful story of how God brought Brittany and me together, and how after being betrothed as husband and wife for 8 months, we were married on a beautiful crisp October day.
The picture of betrothal is one of Christ and His Church. The essence of betrothal is seeking God, trusting that if He has a spouse for us, He will bring them into our lives in His timing. If/when He reveals to us and confirms to us that a certain person is to be our spouse, we can trust His leading, and make a betrothal/marriage commitment without having a trial period of sorts.
A man should provide for his household, be content and thankful with what God has him doing and not complain, be willing to lead by example, be generous with what he has been given, be consistent in his character and choices (even when no one is watching), be self-controlled and actively resist anger, lust, or any other fleshly desire, attend church, read the bible, and pray often.
Am I supposed to spend time with this person in a “non-dating” way, maybe in a group setting? Should I try to go serve where they are? How do I get to know them better? This might be God’s will, how should I pursue this? What if they are far away?
Dating is not Biblical because it fails in three of the most important aspects of the Christian walk: holiness, faith, and following Christ’s example.